thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
