True but thats because hes a fetus.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
