did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
