So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sorry my hands just texted you
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
