I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
