dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
