yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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