Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
