Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
