i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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