God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I lost the right to judge tonight
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
