WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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