hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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