He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
wat bout pragnant strippers??
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
