The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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