I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
