"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
