i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
