You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
