Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
