And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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