We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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