I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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