That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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