You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
