I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
