you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
