dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
