i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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