just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
