I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
