you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
