I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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