He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
