hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
