Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
