OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
