i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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