I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
