Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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