I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
