i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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