Porn is love you can see.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
