Will you blow on my dice?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
