I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
