I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
