Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
