She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
