I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
