U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
