I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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