She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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