literally had 100 drinks last night.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
